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Terrific Two’s

In Uncategorized on 11/15/2018 by Beyond the Face of facebook .

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We love our two-year old’s!

 

Our home, its appearance, and our stuff do not.

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It’s our job as loving parents, though, to make sure that BOTH “get along” – AND ensure that our terrific two wins our love over our stuff! 🙂

Let it go – the mess, the broken, the torn, the stained, the soiled (you know what I’m talking about :)).

Over all else, make space within yourself AND your home to allow your two-year old to thrive.

Yes, you are now the “host” of a wee “guest” who is just becoming aware of – and thus is eager to learn about – their amazing world:  your home.

Your home is a learning laboratory at this time…

And the “experiments” are being “tested” using your two’s “What-will-happen-if-I-touch (with my arm, hand, finger, foot, or tongue) “scientific” method.

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Even the simplest object that you may have is a blank canvas for exploration:  your two is learning how things interact, move, change, and form patterns; how things can be used to solve problems and be applied in different ways;  and how something causes an effect <crash!>

 

“At this time”!?

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Ok, it might feel like forever and an endless mess; I get it.

The reality in the big-scheme of life is that the mess is just temporary.  Your two will only  be two once.  It’s a moment.

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However, the impact of your two’s home experience – including how you interact with them – will be the actual “forever and endless” element, as you help shape your two into the person they will be over a lifetime.

As your two’s guardian, caregiver, and protector, you’re making an investment – moving your focus away from your stuff  (just for now, don’t get nervous :)) – towards ensuring that your two will develop the appropriate skills, attitude, and approach towards people, property, caring, learning, and life.

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The “wiring” and “foundation” for your “person-building” project are being set.

Welcome your two-year old’s curiosity…

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Let go (of the stuff).  And let in (the support, celebration, and excitement).

 

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You want your two-year old “guest” to have a positive first impression – to you, to learning, and to taking initiative – to feeling valued.

Protect and value your terrific two above stuff.

 

 

And what about you – Dad, Mom? 

Who do you become?  It’s your stuff.  It’s your home.  It’s your sanity 🙂

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During this messy time, our stuff we perceive to be important and/or fragile can be put aside, out-of-reach, rearranged, made off-limits, out-of-sight/out-of-mind, or even held-off for purchasing later.

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“Perceived” connotes that stuff we may see as “important” actually and unexpectedly may end up collecting dust, being forgotten about, or not being purchased (which can ultimately translate into savings of money, time, and space).

Who knows?  Some of your goodies might just be more appropriate to bring out and share with your child at a more appropriate age or moment.

 

Perhaps we can also move aside and rearrange more of our “way-wFlip Object - Free arrows iconse’ve-always-done-it” agendas and expectations, so that we can help increase the number of positive moments we share with our two.

…For example, doing chores, making lunch for the next day, and showering can be done when our two is asleep.

The rearrangement of our schedule and habits can help us feel less pressured.

 

This can really help us be prepared and available to spend more quality time with our two when they are bright-eyed and bushy tailed… or bawling and throwing a tantrum (which a friend told me means likely they just want to be held…  and they just don’t know how to tell you)!

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Basically, work smarter to love your two, rather than working harder (which can create frustration that we might take out on others).

You can amp-up the amount of benevolence, giving, kindness, and compassion – both to your terrific two and to yourself.

 

Plastic utensils and paper plates are a life-saver…Image result for bending plastic spoon

Challenge your self and attitude to bend, as an alternative to breaking.  Now is the time to be flexible, innovative, planful, and moving forward while simultaneously keeping the hugs and kisses (and brooms, mops, washing machines, and trips to the store) coming 🙂

Reevaluate the areas in your life where you can and are able.

Spare the rod, but laugh, tickle, play, role-play, cue, sing, and practice.

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Spread the compassion (for yourself, as well) and teach your two-year old.  Set the example, show the way, and make room and space for your two’s personality to shine.  Don’t forget your two’s unique personality and embrace it.

With your two, establish consistent boundaries to promote safety and respect to life and property.

Give guidance and share in home clean-up and organization.  Maybe start with one or two moments when you can lead your terrific two on an organization “field trip”.

 

Image result for oopsReflect on, reevaluate, and learn from your goofs, go back to the drawing board, and implement more smoothly for next time.  Be good to yourself, benevolent – you also didn’t come with a manual for how you will raise a two-year old!

 

 

Inch-by-inch…

Ultimately, the idea is that you can slowly release more responsibility to your two over time.  We’re clear on boundaries, respect, and responsibilities, gradually shaping-up as your two becomes “2+” and is able to do more with age.   And you are facilitating the transformation of your two from a tornado to a potential helper to both you and your home; finally!

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Say it with me:  “Big picture:  ‘two’ will only happen once.  It’s a moment.  The reality is that the mess is just temporary.  We’re letting go and shifting forward, doing our best.  We love our two more than our stuff.”

 

Dear Mom & Pop of terrific two:

Feeling human again will likely require you to derive a state of internal harmony from some source other than the appearance (and smell? lol) of your home and stuff… because you can’t really count on those for awhile.

Keep in mind, what you put in or invest in *now* is likely to be your “payoff” and what the world will get *later*.

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But still…  what about the “me” time?

Yeah, it can get heavy at times; there’s therapists (maybe family, friends, social media?) to help catch you when you’re feeling the freefall-from-skyscraper dream (the difference being…   now you’re awake and feeling it!).

 

Again, you’re going to have to get creative and bend.

There’s after hours, ideally – or, at least the part of the evening when you haven’t yet fallen asleep to “how to” audio, videos, books…  or blogs like this one 🙂

Conversely, improving the quality of your time “on” with your two, can perhaps translate into better personal time “off”, spent away from your two:

So when with your two, try to have fun.   Put them on your lap and play or read.

Snuggle, tickle, dance, and sing.

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Put their stool next to you at the kitchen counter, let them play with knobs and dials (while you monitor and guide).

 

 

Take a walk – talk about colors, plants, animals, vehicles, feels, sounds…

Show your newly “becoming aware” guest how to use, treat, and store your stuff while also modeling behavior – your compassion, love, and sharing 🙂

You’re showing both the potential of what your two can do with stuff (including taking turns and boundaries) and the potential of what your two can be as an evolving person – a compassionate, loving, sharing person, just like you…

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Articles

Hey, glad you’re here !

In Welcome on 11/03/2011 by Beyond the Face of facebook . Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Welcome to Beyond The Face of facebook .: a safe place for us to discuss and explore matters of the heart, candidly and anonymously – without “repercussion to your reputation.”

BFf .

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When I’m 64 – Part III: “Ch-ch-ch-ch Changes”

In Adulthood, Capitalism, Debt, Education, Ethics, Generosity, Maturity, Men's Health, Personal Responsibility, Teens on 01/22/2012 by Beyond the Face of facebook . Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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Dear Mr. President,

In your enduring efforts to better our nation,

please consider a mandatory year of public service for graduating high school seniors.

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Inspired by the success of  historic New Deal programs (PWA, WPA, CCC, NYA, TVA), Americorps, and the IDF, for example,

the POSSIBLE benefits of a public works program are multifold, tangibly & intangibly:

1)  a sense of nationalism (pride, community, ownership),

2)  jobs creation,

and

3)  job skills (contributing towards hands-on education, not requiring debt  – see https://beyondthefaceoffacebook.wordpress.com/2011/11/03/remember-college/ – and a better prepared workforce).

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Additional benefits of participation would be the following:

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work & team-working experience (and, hence, gain qualifications, credentials, and morale)…

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improved infrastructure at reduced labor costs…

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rural and urban renewal

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…less work prospects for illegal immigrants

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…a more robust, mature, citizenry

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…which would be, ideally, more well-trained, responsible, focused, committed, healthy, and connected,

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and

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alleviation of housing vacancies (that is, repair and use vacant housing to provide “room and board” for the year).

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Related, graduates would have more flexiblity to live in a different state and,
thereby, have more opportunities to experience (and relate to) a different part of our country.

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There would also be more opportunities for young people to experience, glean from, and contribute towards the processes that transform and transport our nation’s raw materials to market.

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Last, after a few generations, most citizens, ideally, would go through the public service program.

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Many of the nation’s attitudes, values, and well-being would be transformed…

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…for a more productive and robust nation.

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Here’s to the spirit of doing things differently in a progressing world…

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.…instead ofthe way we’ve always done it.”

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Thank you for your consideration, and G-d bless, America,

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BFf .

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In Childhood, Parenting on 01/08/2012 by Beyond the Face of facebook . Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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When I’m 64…

In Aging, Generosity, Personal Responsibility, Stereotypes on 12/24/2011 by Beyond the Face of facebook . Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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Dear Chronic Daters, Part V – “The Power of Two”

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In Dating, Ethics, Generosity, Marriage, Men's Health, Personal Responsibility, Welcome on 12/08/2011 by Beyond the Face of facebook . Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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