Dear Chronic Daters – Part I: “New Hope”

In Dating, Marriage on 11/17/2011 by Beyond the Face of facebook . Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


I want to embolden and embrace your beautiful intention to someday becoming married. Personally, marriage is the BEST endeavor you will ever partake in with your life.


Also, YES, you’re right, there is something “wrong” with the last person you dated. In fact, with EVERY person in the world, there is something wrong. Similarly, I hold a proverbial mirror to your face.

Further, all of us (and, by extension, the world) are very broken – an awareness into which you have keen insight and sensitivity. Smashing a glass under the wedding canopy at Jewish weddings, for example, is to remind us of this brokenness.

And only when all vows and commitments to the new union have been stated is the glass is broken, thereby sanctifying the first “order of business” as a new married entity… a future of continually working to repair the brokenness and of building new life (most commonly, but not only, by conceiving children).

Indeed, the sound of the shattering glass is a call to “quit with the self-indulgent, rear-end sitting, and let’s get to the purpose of life – the work of repair and building!”:) Actually, you already have this capacity: you repair and build everyday – at your job – but just for the fleeting, sole purpose of keeping someone else’s and your pockets lined with the green stuff (see

You also first went “dating” for that job you have and/or once had – resumes, interviews, internships, etc. So, did any of those jobs turn out to be the “perfect one?” What?! You still work there?!;) Marriage, over any job, is the one, true, most significant, long-lasting-impact “career” endeavor you’ll ever have.

And like with the broken glass, for as much as we destroy (such as our relationships), we are also responsible for the restoration and building, if we are to progress. This means we actually have a LOT of power to influence through our actions (including our speech) or our inaction (also, including our speech… or lack, thereof, in this case).

In this way, we are also much like a single, falling water droplet. We can impact the entire body of water – radiating and influencing far beyond our limited form while also contributing to the total volume. Conversely, by NOT contributing to the body of water, the body’s volume can only either stay the same or (more likely) diminish…

Marriage is the body of water where each of us, as individuals (ironically), has the most potential to fulfill this work. Marriage is a microcosm of the world – a workplace, a sandbox, a think-tank, a conference room, a focus group, a sample size – where we practice continual reparation and building.

Those flaws you saw in your last date – and the ones they’ve seen in you (you may or may not have noticed them)…  Marriage is where we repair them and build the Sanctity, Stability, and Structure (The 3 Pillars) of your new home.


Drop by for “Dear Chronic Daters, Part II – My New Home


BFf .

2 Responses to “Dear Chronic Daters – Part I: “New Hope””

  1. great message

    • Many thanks for your sentiments and contribution. Please feel free to share… and perhaps help alleviate someone’s pain and/or help inspire some new insights, direction, and purpose. We have a lot of potential and work to do!:)

      Keep talking, Keep Healthy,

      BFf .

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